Coffee With A Plus

 

EXT. STREET – DAY

BRIAN and DANNY walk down the sidewalk sipping on to-go drinks.

DANNY

Oh, a new coffee house opened up.

BRIAN

CoffeeShop, interesting name.

DANNY

What do you mean?

BRIAN

It’s just simple and says what it is.

DANNY

You wanna try it out?

BRIAN

Let’s check it out tomorrow.

DANNY and BRIAN continue past the building down the street.

FADE TO BLACK.

TITLE CARD READING “NEXT DAY”

FADE IN:

INT. COFFEESHOP – DAY

DANNY and BRIAN enter the CoffeeShop through the main door.

BARISTA 1

Welcome to CoffeeShop.

BRIAN

See man, this is how it should be.

(Pointing at art on the walls and clean environment)

No pretention, no stupid logos on everything.

(Points at sign above BARISTA 1)

And that.

DANNY

What?

BRIAN

That, the menu look at that, just fucking coffee, no weird other shit, just coffee,

(points to the side)

And over there you can add your own shit too, like cream or sugar or like 17 of those little straws if you want, but they only sell coffee; you can add your own stuff later.

DANNY

You take coffee a little to seriously man.

BRIAN

No, I respect a good brew and honesty in what you are. This my friend, is a coffee shop.

FADE TO BLACK.

TITLE CARD READING “MANY DAYS LATER”

EXT. STREET – DAY

BRIAN is standing on the sidewalk looking up at the CoffeeShop sign that has been replaced with a CoffeeShop+ sign. A sign posted in the window reads “Under New Management” DANNY enters from O.C.

DANNY

What, are you doing?

BRIAN

Thinking.

DANNY

‘Bout what?

BRIAN

They changed their sign.

DANNY

So? Some other people probably just bought it and changed the name.

BRIAN

They didn’t change the name, they just added to it.

DANNY

Are we gonna get coffee or talk about their sign selection all day?

BRIAN and DANNY enter the CoffeeShop+

INT. COFFEESHOP+

The BARISTA is dressed in formal wear and topping it off, a nifty hat, with CoffeeShop+ logo on it.

BARISTA 1

Welcome to CoffeeShop Plus, home of the new frappa-coffee.

BRIAN

You added a new thing to the menu?

BARISTA 1

Yes sir, we here at CoffeeShop Plus feel that coffee could be even better than just some simple roasted beans and water. It’s an experience.

BRIAN

Heh, um, ok. Can I just get a large?

BARISTA 1

Ok sir, no problem, that will be .50.

BRIAN

OK,

(reaches for wallet)

Wait, What?

BARISTA 1

.50.

BRIAN

Why is it more now? It used to be like 3 bucks.

BARISTA 1

Oh, sorry for the confusion sir. We now take the boring old coffee from before and add a hint of caramel, then we have our own special blend of cream and cinnamon that adds just the right amount of aroma to your beverage and couple that with our new travel mug.  Well you can see right there the value over any old regular coffee.

BRIAN

I don’t want an 18 dollar coffee.

BARISTA 1

.50

BRIAN

Whatever! Can I just have a plain coffee? No Caramel, no mug, no special cream.

BARISTA 1

Oh, sorry again for the confusion. This is now the only type of coffee drink we serve.

DANNY

(nudging BRIAN)

.50, dude.

BRIAN

(To DANNY)

Shut-up.

(To BARISTA 1)

So you are telling me that plain coffee is-- just-- not available.

BARISTA 1

We understand that you might not want to spend the .50 up front, so we do have a membership card you can purchase and after every 10th mug refill you buy, part of that purchase goes towards the initial purchase of the first coffee. Would that be something easier for you to try?

BRIAN

No, it wouldn’t be something I would like to try, I don’t even understand what you just said, I would like to try a plain coffee and then walk over to the station over the--

(points to where the cream and sugar station previously was)

Where did the cream and stuff station go?

BARISTA 1

We do that for you now. Here at CoffeeShop Plus we have hired some really amazing Coffee Research Scientists to determine the proper amount of sugar and cream and caramel to add with our blend of coffee, so you the customer can have a better experience.

DANNY

So no plain coffee?

BARISTA 1

Sir, nothing here is just plain. We pride ourselves in offering the best possible coffee you can imagine. That is where we get the “plus.” It’s Better.

BRIAN

Can I talk to a manager?

BARISTA 1

Absolutely, wait right here, oh and maybe enjoy some of our literature on the caramel making process that makes our coffee the be--

BRIAN

Just go!

BARISTA 1 walks towards the back of the room where the MANAGER is standing. BRIAN and DANNY continue to talk.

DANNY

They can’t just pour some coffee in a fucking cup?

BRIAN

I guess not.

DANNY

Why do you think they added everything?

BRIAN

No idea, seems like they had a good thing going, then went and fucked it all up.

The MANAGER looks over at BRIAN and DANNY and then nods to BARISTA 1. The MANAGER then walks over to BRIAN and DANNY.

MANAGER

What can I do for you gentlemen today?

BRIAN

I just wanna get a cup of coffee, but that guy over there says you don’t do that anymore.

MANAGER

Oh, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding.

BRIAN

Oh, good, then one plain coffee, please.

MANAGER

See, here at CoffeeShop Plus we take pride in our coffee being the best and we have decided that it would be better enjoyed with the caramel and the whipped cream topping.

BRIAN

You’re not listening to me, I don’t want that. I just want plain coffee and then add the cream and sugar and stuff myself.

DANNY

You’re the manager, right? Can’t you just get him a cup of coffee?

MANAGER

Well, here at CoffeeShop Plus we have restructured how management works, each week a different employee is the manager.

BRIAN

Wait, what?

MANAGER

I can offer you a complimentary gift card.

DANNY

Go back to the manager thing.

MANAGER

Oh, certainly. See, each week one of us is “in charge.” We did research and found that this is the best way to make sure no one feels left out.

DANNY

So, you just tell each other you’re all in charge?

MANAGER

Exactly! Now can I get you two gentlemen anything else to go along with your coffees?

BRIAN

I don’t want that coffee, I want my normal regular coffee which up until today I could just walk in, lay my 3 bucks down, and walk out enjoying a plain coffee.

MANAGER

Sir, You are being very hostile.

BRIAN

I’m not being hostile, I just want a normal god damned coffee.

MANAGER

Sir, if you continue to criticize all the work and effort our research team put into creating these fine blends of carame-

BRIAN

Fine blends? You just put some whipped cream on it and called it something special.

MANAGER

Sir, We reserve the right to do with our product what we will and you being a supporter of our previous company are obligated to support all new ventures we pursue.

BRIAN

I’m not obligated to do shit.

MANAGER

Sir, you continue to be negative.

DANNY

Who is being negative?  He just wanted to purchase a fucking normal coffee and then you start telling him that if he doesn’t buy your new “specially researched coffee” he is some sort of hostile person who doesn’t understand what coffee is.

MANAGER

That’s it, both of you are banned from CoffeeShop Plus.

DANNY

Why?

MANAGER

If you are not with us, you are against us.  You continue to question the authority of our research staff and management and-

DANNY

Management?  You just said no one was “really” the management. You basically flip a fucking coin.

MANAGER

I’m done listening to you, you are banned from CoffeeShop Plus.

BRIAN

Why can’t you just sell a normal coffee and let me decid--

MANAGER

(fingers in ears)

LA LA LA LA LA LA

BRIAN

Holy shit, is this guy for real?

DANNY

Fuck him, let’s leave.

BRIAN and DANNY walk towards the door but when they push on the handle the door doesn’t open.

BRIAN

What the fuck is this?

BARISTA 1

Here you have to leave through this door.

(points to grey emergency exit door marked “To Alley”)

BRIAN

Why is the door locked?

BARISTA 1

Safety measures.

BRIAN

What kind of safety measures?

BARISTA 1

When we ban someone we have to personally escort you out, so that others can see you being escorted out.

DANNY

Why?

BARISTA 1

Sorry I can’t tell you why, you have been banned.

DANNY

Fuck you.

BRIAN and DANNY are shuffled out the side door into the alley.

EXT. ALLEY WAY – CONTINUOUS

BRIAN

Holy shit, did that really just happen?

DANNY

Screw them man, let’s get coffee down the street. I know a place.

The alley door swings open and MANAGER leans his head out yelling.

MANAGER

I know people in this town! They love CoffeeShop Plus, and I’m going to tell them to not sell you coffee, and they will listen to me, because you two hooligans just need to accept that this is what is going to happen. CoffeeShop Plus is going to be huge!

MANAGERS voice trails off as BRIAN and DANNY walk away.

FADE TO BLACK.

TITLE CARD READING “ONE WEEK LATER”

BRIAN is Standing on the street corner giggling. DANNY walks up.

DANNY

What are you laughing about.

BRIAN

(points across the street)

Check it out.

View across the street is of the CoffeeShop Plus store with a large closed sign in the window.

STREET MERCHANT

Three Dollars.

BRIAN

Sorry, here ya go.

BRIAN hands STREET MERCHANT three dollars.

STREET MERCHANT

Here you go sir, one large plain coffee.  Cream and sugar are on the side of the cart.

BRIAN walks around and starts to pour sugar into his coffee.

FADE OUT.

 

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